Updated: Sep 9, 2022
One key aspect for gaining more independence in our lives is through the act of taking responsibility. In fact, to become independent, we must be willing to take full responsibility for our lives - the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.
For me, responsibility was a trigger word for a long time. Being raised in a family of divorce and living with my single mother in a different state than my father, I grew up quickly. I was responsible for so many things, including all the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, and farm labor, not to mention the responsibilities of school work, extracurriculars and friendships, by the time I was a young wife and mother at 20 years old I had already had my fill of RESPONSIBILITY!
When I became an adept initiate in 2011, I was shouldering my fair share of responsibility; however, I was still acting as a victim in many areas of my life. Here are just a few of the statements I was using to justify why my life looked the way it did:
It was so-and-so's fault that I didn't have such-and-such...
If I hadn't had this [negative experience] happen to me I would have been able to do [hope, wish or dream]...
I'm too sensitive to...
My anxiety is too overwhelming for me to...
If only I had...
If my [loved one] really loved me they would....
You get the picture. Perhaps you even recognize some of these disempowering statements in your own life, as they are pretty common. My reality at the time had me as the victim of my circumstances. It painted my world as one that I was not fully in control of, and it pointed me in the direction of reliance on others to solve my problems. Certainly not the picture of empowerment.
After about a year as an adept initiate, I started to become more aware of the places in my life where I was disempowered and where I was attached to my victimhood. As they became more apparent, I was so grateful for this Path as it provided the tools necessary for me to successfully heal and transform these areas over the coming years. If I were to call out just a few of the things that I know assisted me on my healing journey it would be:
Universal Hermetic Ray Kabbalah
Journeys of the Spirit
And, LOTS of healing sessions in between.
There was still something that was bothering me. And, like the children's story of the Princess and the Pea, there was still something tiny and bothersome, that was deeply affecting my ability to be at peace. There was this nagging voice in my head that seemed overly attached to the concept that it was just fine to take responsibility for the past, BUT instead my spiritual responsibility should make me afraid.
I remember the moment everything changed for me like it was yesterday. I had grown a lot. And, yet, my life had gotten so uncomfortable, I was deeply suffering from inertia and stagnation, and I was seriously considering giving up on my apprenticeship training as a Guide. When I drug myself to the final Kabbalah weekend of my third ascension process, I was ashamed of my lack of progress. I was tired of being a disappointment to myself and to God. While I wasn't exactly depressed, it was more like I was resigned to my sense of failure.
During one of our weekend exercises I had some time alone with myself to get really honest about why I wasn't getting the traction I was capable of getting in this area of my service. Because, all outward appearances I appeared primed to breeze right through my apprenticeship training, and yet, here I was, stuck.
Sitting alone in the dark, I asked myself what I was so afraid of, why was I so immovably stuck, especially when I experienced such joy as a Guide.
A very quiet and steady voice responded simply, "You are afraid of your spiritual responsibility and the impact it will have in the world. You have aligned with the worldview that your mission is impossible. And, now you are afraid of your greatness."
BOOM! If an inner self could mic drop, that was the loudest spiritual mic drop EVER!
Spiritual responsibility. That was the response. And, it was 100% TRUTH.
I think we can all agree that there is that thing, that something, that you know you are on Earth to do. Some call it purpose, some mission, others might say your life contract. However you choose to conceptualize it, there is a special thing that you, and only you, can accomplish this lifetime. For me, that thing was so terrifying that I was stopping myself from accepting the weight of that responsibility. I was truly afraid that if I accepted the mission, and I failed, that I would not be able to recover from the failure.
What B*** S****!
I had a long lifetime of proof that I could carry the weight of responsibility, and that even if I made mistakes I could recover, learn and grow. The moment I came to this conclusion my entire world shifted.
Up until this point I had allowed myself to be dependent on everyone else pulling their spiritual weight so I didn't have to. There were even examples of dysfunctional co-dependencies I had created, relationships where I had tricked myself into feeling like I was focused on my mission rather than helping someone else complete theirs. I had placed too great of importance on what others had to say about my progression, and I made decisions based on their suggestions rather than my own inner voice. I did not see myself as an expert in my own life, and this was my greatest stopping place.
When I finally accepted the weight of my spiritual responsibility it was actually a huge relief. It was like a light switch flipped on and so much light flowed into my heart and mind. In the end, responsibility didn't really feel like a weight, it felt more like a gift.
I invite you to fully embrace your own spiritual responsibility so that you too can gain the highest measure of independence and empowerment in your life. You are the only person who can do it for you. And, you have the option of using the tools of the Lineage of King Salomon to help you get there. I believe in you!
About Kelly Hull Aho
As a Metaphysical Teacher, Healer and Spiritual Guide in the ancient Lineage of King Salomon, certified by the Modern Mystery School, Kelly has supported the empowerment, self-expression & personal healing of hundreds of people using the Mystery School techniques of activation, energy healing, and initiation.
Kelly shares her life with her amazing husband, two children and two furry cats in Phoenix AZ. Growing up in the midwest, she prefers practical over conceptual and serves her clients well from that perspective.
Find her on: IG: @spirituallyempowered
To inquire about working with Kelly: email@example.com